Monday, September 25, 2006

Sir Pat 'The Cope' Gallagher , Free State Junior Minister of State for Transport , pictured in happier days !

This up-standing example of all that is good within the political elite in this State was born on the 10 March , 1948 , in Burtonport , County Donegal . He was educated in Roshine NS , in Dungloe , then travelled to Luinnagh NS in Gweedore , Donegal and almost finished his schooling in St. Enda's College , Galway before realising it would be unfair to deprive University College Galway of his vast knowledge , so he graced that institution with his presence for a few years !

He worked as a fish exporter before becoming the inheritor of the title 'The Cope' from his grandfather , a founder-figure of the co-op movement in County Donegal . At 15 years of age he joined with like-minded members of the local political elite by throwing his lot in with the local Fianna Fail gang , a move which brought him , today , to the county of Monaghan , to open a by-pass . His fame preceeded him so much that between eight and ten thousand well-wishers turned out to welcome him to the county , no doubt hoping to rub-up against the legend that is Pat 'The Cope' , and perhaps become members of the 'elite' themselves ! Indeed , even the very State car that this champion of the dispossessed travelled in was transformed by having the great mans bum in it into being something which the peasants desired to rub up against . However - there being such a large crowd of fans present , those at the back could not even get close enough to Sir Cope's carriage , never mind the man himself and , there being a severe shortage of laurel leaves to hand , decided to pay homage instead by throwing pebbles at the car , in a quaint display of servitude . Sir Pat then realised he was hungry and was immediately rushed to a near-by hotel for shel.... food .

And that , readers , is the gospel according to Saint Cope. Anyone who claims otherwise is a communist/dissident/malcontent/has a political axe to grind/begrudger/and/or a Blueshirt . And we know where you live......